I just feel kind of ... Quiet now. It's not really a calmness, Nor a sense of being at ease. It's not like that. My brain just feels a bit quieter And it's really nice. I like when I get to be entirely alone. Everyone is asleep around me, In another room -- In another …
Grief For Younger Me’s
He calls out my Name From the other room And I assume Anger. Frantic --- tremble --- cold sweat, Teeth clenched, Gut wrenched, Immediately prepared for the anticipated blast of unexpected yet ultimately inevitable attack. I pull back. Remember, That's not my life anymore. My world spins a Moment more Before I take a deep …
A Barn-House Dance With Fear
I lock eyes with my first partner long before our first touch. A long line of faces along each opposing wall, staring into our newly found opposition -- we are all someone's fear. With confident approach, I toy with the idea of allowing this new concept to attain contact; circling slowly closer, until its eyes …
Deliberately, A Raisin
What would you say If you could hold a mountain Between your fingertips? A mountain So small It could feed a fish? A mountain that Could mimic — perfectly — the constant Noise in your head; That could tickle you like A lover, yet push Against the lies between your teeth With the bittersweet Vengeance …
This.
I want To replace my breakdowns With breakthroughs; Emotional moments Of much less frequency And much more decency. Moments which enable, in me, A much kinder sense of peace: A type of serenity Which provides a space for relaxation, Rather than a type of calm Forced on By frantic desperation Or chronic exhaustion. I want …
So, you want to support mental illness awareness?
Oh, of course: you don't need to ask for permission to look at my tattoo, much less to grab my wrist and stare at it in a way that's comfortable for you. After all, if I've got a tattoo, it's meant to be admired by the public, right? Who would get a visible tattoo that's …
Continue reading "So, you want to support mental illness awareness?"
Gravity
It's on these days that gravity feels as though it is deliberately trying to pull me down harder; when my hip-bones feel as though they are being crushed against the surface upon which they lie.
I Am Not A Plant
You're beating around the bush And talking to a tree I am neither a rose Nor a dandelion weed And I'm convinced that what you're seeing Isn't me
If I Was A Sidewalk
I understand that stopping often hurts more than falling and maybe you would hate me for that, but if you found yourself unable to pick yourself up right away, I would stay and hold you until you were ready. My hugs may not be very warm or comforting, but I can assure you that they are secure.
2:00 A.M.
I don't see a car as a toy or a tool; I see it as a weapon -- made with the intent to deceive and subsequently kill. I am suffocating in the sounds of those finding strength in their suffering. We are taught that it is not heroic to suffer and survive -- it is …
Unappreciative
I don’t appreciate it when you assess my level of stability by what I’m currently taking, because wellness is a process during which every aspect altered makes a difference. I don’t appreciate your backhanded compliments, indicating that you feel I’m more worthy as a person when I’m able to walk or when I don’t want …
Depression Is
Depression is knowing you have to take out the garbage so your partner won't yell at you, so you walk it outside with bare feet, not caring how cold it is. Depression is knowing you have to walk the dogs because you are responsible for their wellbeing, and losing track of time mid-walk, causing you …